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IMG_7597 | Josh + Katie Walters

January 31, 2024 • General

No one wakes up in marriage determined to walk away from a legacy of love; however, it happens to so many couples. For many couples we have walked with, it has been due to a lack of vision. They had no reference for fighting for love and staying faithful through pain.

In 2008, when we arrived at Seacoast, we lacked the faith to endure and restore our marriage on our own. God used many couples at the church, starting with Pastors Sam and Joan Lesky at the Dream Center. We sought prayer from them on our first Sunday. Later, we joined Pastors Mac and Cindy Lake’s small group, who committed to walking with us through our darkest season. This picture is from August 2009, marking the end of one of the most challenging years of our marriage. They conducted a vow renewal ceremony for us in the mountains, affirming the promise I received from Jesus that He would win the fight for our legacy of faith.

Regardless of your life season or weaknesses, Jesus is for you. Surrender and stay planted, and you can witness Him bringing about the legacy of love you were made for!

Community helped us fight for our legacy of love. We invite you to get the book and workbook and go through it with another couple. We know from experience that as you get vulnerable with another couple whom you admire, they can provide the vision you need to go to a new place.

Many of you may walk with those who are hurting or whose marriages are struggling, and we know you will be strengthened by being on this mission. For others, find that couple you admire, pursue them, pray, and ask God to bring about the mentor couple you need.

Get the book “New Marriage, Same Couple” at the Seacoast bookstore or through this link: https://amzn.to/49drl8R.

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  • Where in your calendar can you choose each other? It’s never easy to schedule time for the important over the urgent. Your highest priority will be reflected on your calendar, so look at the upcoming weeks and invest in your marriage.
  • “What is really going on here?” Such a great question to ask whenever one of you is worked up.
“Is there a deeper emotional need that my spouse has?”

Tag or send this to your spouse and tell them, hold me accountable to getting better at this! 

We all have more to grow in when it comes to love and hard conversations.
  • 3 simple ways to honor each others past while building a new identity:

Practice Curiosity not Criticism or Comparing

Instead of evaluating each other’s past (That’s weird/ My family did it better), choose curiosity.

Try this:
Ask: “What did that mean to you growing up?”
Share: “Here’s what that tradition felt like for me…”

2. Name What You Want to Keep, Release, and Rebuild

Every couple needs to intentionally decide:
Keep → What from our past is life-giving?
Release → What patterns do we NOT want to carry forward?
Rebuild → What do we want to create that’s uniquely ours?

3. Create New Rhythms That Reflect Both of You

Your marriage isn’t meant to mirror one family, it’s meant to become a new culture.

Start small:
A weekly meal or tradition from each background
A shared rhythm (Friday night check-in, prayer, or date night)
Celebrating holidays in a blended, intentional way

You’re not choosing between two histories, you’re authoring a third story together.
  • If you want to “win” a marriage argument you can’t make your spouse the looser! Take the challenge and put it on the table so you can win the problem together. Two become One flesh!
Where in your calendar can you choose each other? It’s never easy to schedule time for the important over the urgent. Your highest priority will be reflected on your calendar, so look at the upcoming weeks and invest in your marriage.
2 days ago
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1/4
“What is really going on here?” Such a great question to ask whenever one of you is worked up. “Is there a deeper emotional need that my spouse has?” Tag or send this to your spouse and tell them, hold me accountable to getting better at this! We all have more to grow in when it comes to love and hard conversations.
4 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
3 simple ways to honor each others past while building a new identity: Practice Curiosity not Criticism or Comparing Instead of evaluating each other’s past (That’s weird/ My family did it better), choose curiosity. Try this: Ask: “What did that mean to you growing up?” Share: “Here’s what that tradition felt like for me…” 2. Name What You Want to Keep, Release, and Rebuild Every couple needs to intentionally decide: Keep → What from our past is life-giving? Release → What patterns do we NOT want to carry forward? Rebuild → What do we want to create that’s uniquely ours? 3. Create New Rhythms That Reflect Both of You Your marriage isn’t meant to mirror one family, it’s meant to become a new culture. Start small: A weekly meal or tradition from each background A shared rhythm (Friday night check-in, prayer, or date night) Celebrating holidays in a blended, intentional way You’re not choosing between two histories, you’re authoring a third story together.
6 days ago
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3/4
If you want to “win” a marriage argument you can’t make your spouse the looser! Take the challenge and put it on the table so you can win the problem together. Two become One flesh!
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
4/4
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