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IMG_3056 | Josh + Katie Walters

April 21, 2026 • General

We learned a valuable lesson from Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Save Your Marriage Before It Starts.

Not every moment in marriage needs more words. Not every dead horse is worth beating in a disagreement.

Sometimes what we need most is to let it lie and reassure the other person, we can move on.

There have been moments in our marriage where conversations felt heavy.

Emotions were high.
Words were hard to find.

And in those moments, something small made a big difference.

A simple hand squeeze.

Just a quiet, intentional reminder:

“I’m still with you.”
“We’re still okay.”

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says:
“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Marriage is not just about staying connected emotionally.

It’s about staying connected spiritually and physically—even in tension.

Why This Matters

When conflict rises, our brains often shift into protection mode.

We brace.
We pull back.
We prepare to defend.

But small physical connection interrupts that pattern, ends a disagreement and can bring safety back into the moment.

Try This

Next time a conversation feels tense:

  • Reach for their hand
  • Sit closer instead of pulling away
  • Soften your tone
  • Remind them: “We’re on the same team” with a hand squeeze then wait for them to squeeze back.

Because sometimes healing doesn’t come from the perfect words.

It comes from a simple reminder of connection and love.

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  • Growing in friendship with your spouse is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness.

When we stopped trying to fix everything…. and started rebuilding friendship. That changed everything.

1. Turn Toward Each Other in Small Moments

Respond to each other’s “bids for connection” yes even sending and responding to reels your spouse sends 😉small attempts to engage like sharing a story, asking a question, making a joke, or reaching for affection.

When you consistently turn toward instead of ignoring or dismissing, friendship deepens over time.

2. Stay curious about each other’s inner world: stresses, dreams, fears, goals, favorite things, current pressures.

People change over time. Friendship grows when you keep learning your spouse instead of assuming you already know them.
Ask:

* What’s been weighing on you lately?
* What are you excited about right now?
* How can I support you this week?

3. Prioritize Positive Shared Experiences

Research shows couples need regular positive interactions to buffer stress and conflict. Friendship is strengthened through enjoyment, novelty, laughter, and teamwork.
Examples:

* Walk after dinner
* Coffee on the porch
* Cooking together
* Trying something new
* Inside jokes and playful texting

Marriage often weakens not from one big event, but from neglected friendship. Romance may fluctuate, but friendship can be built daily.
  • When your spouse walks in, or walks out, pause what you’re doing. Look up. Move toward them. Kiss hello. Kiss goodbye.

It sounds small, but relationship research consistently shows that brief moments of connection build trust, security, and emotional closeness over time. Priority is often communicated in seconds, not speeches.

Stop. Drop. And roll (kiss). Small habit to keep the fire going! Do you and your spouse make an effort to do this?
  • Silly blooper video 😂 but it’s science. You might not need more time together—you might just need to put your phone down.

It’s amazing how much more connected we feel just by looking into each other’s eyes and getting the devices out of the way.

Send this to your spouse if you are ready to “tackle” the phone problem together. The weekend is a great time to start!
  • Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Growing in friendship with your spouse is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness. When we stopped trying to fix everything…. and started rebuilding friendship. That changed everything. 1. Turn Toward Each Other in Small Moments Respond to each other’s “bids for connection” yes even sending and responding to reels your spouse sends 😉small attempts to engage like sharing a story, asking a question, making a joke, or reaching for affection. When you consistently turn toward instead of ignoring or dismissing, friendship deepens over time. 2. Stay curious about each other’s inner world: stresses, dreams, fears, goals, favorite things, current pressures. People change over time. Friendship grows when you keep learning your spouse instead of assuming you already know them. Ask: * What’s been weighing on you lately? * What are you excited about right now? * How can I support you this week? 3. Prioritize Positive Shared Experiences Research shows couples need regular positive interactions to buffer stress and conflict. Friendship is strengthened through enjoyment, novelty, laughter, and teamwork. Examples: * Walk after dinner * Coffee on the porch * Cooking together * Trying something new * Inside jokes and playful texting Marriage often weakens not from one big event, but from neglected friendship. Romance may fluctuate, but friendship can be built daily.
3 weeks ago
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1/4
When your spouse walks in, or walks out, pause what you’re doing. Look up. Move toward them. Kiss hello. Kiss goodbye. It sounds small, but relationship research consistently shows that brief moments of connection build trust, security, and emotional closeness over time. Priority is often communicated in seconds, not speeches. Stop. Drop. And roll (kiss). Small habit to keep the fire going! Do you and your spouse make an effort to do this?
3 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Silly blooper video 😂 but it’s science. You might not need more time together—you might just need to put your phone down. It’s amazing how much more connected we feel just by looking into each other’s eyes and getting the devices out of the way. Send this to your spouse if you are ready to “tackle” the phone problem together. The weekend is a great time to start!
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing. It means you’re in it. Stay. Do the work. ✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/4
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