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Screen Shot 2022-10-31 at 2.41.56 PM | Josh + Katie Walters

November 19, 2020 • General

Katie Walters is why this podcast started. Not the literal reason, but the embodiment of it – a woman you’d see across a party or in your social media feed and think, “That woman has it all together.” She’d want you to know there’s far more than meets the eye.

Katie is a stylish, joyful mother, due with her seventh any day now, and smitten wife to her pastor husband. She is CEO of a thriving missional fashion line, an encouraging social media presence, and somehow finds time to co-author a book about marriage with her husband, Josh.

That book in process, though? It documents the lessons gleaned from a marital crisis more than a decade ago. At the time, Katie had given her heart away and doubted she could ever view her husband as more than a roommate. Thirteen years later, their marriage is living proof that there’s always more than meets the eye.

Katie embraces her gifts as a mother and lets the women around her help fill in the gaps. She pursues social justice and racial equality through her partnership with Togolese community leaders, Francis and Benedict, after whom she named the business that provides them with resources.

She speaks candidly about counting the seasons we have with our children, and watching them become even better than their parents are in many ways. You’ll love Katie’s perspective on what to share on social media and how to find a balance between authenticity and “bleeding out.”

Learn more about Francis + Benedict at @francisandbenedict or francisandbenedict.com. You can connect with Katie at @katiewalters on Instagram.

This week’s conversation is sponsored by Christy Hollywood Photography. Find examples of Christy Hollywood-Lynn’s incredible work at @christyhollywoodphotography on Instagram or christyhollywoodphotography.com. Whether you need social media content, branding photography, or family and lifestyle portraits, her portfolio speaks for itself.

As always, you can find me at @butnotallatonce; I’d love to hear your thoughts! Take care, y’all, and I’ll speak to you next week. xoxo

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  • There is usually one whose idea of “fun” is getting stuff done. 🫠 Play can seem silly, or even unproductive, but research tells a different story. 
Novel, playful experiences activate the brain’s reward system, create stronger emotional memories, and help couples feel more connected by breaking out of everyday routines.
Literally getting a doctorate to justify being childlike. 😉
So let’s make this a no boring date nights (or days) summer! 
Drop your most creative idea in the comments so we can help those work as play people out!
  • Happy wedding T + T!!! I have been thinking about what I would write to you in a wedding card way to long 😂 so here it is from me to you:

Dearest Taylor and Travis,

Thank you. I believe your love story, like all great ones, is changing the world. 

I want you to know as someone who has been married 24 years, has a court in the back yard and a whole block of children looking like him.
Your wish list is full of wisdom and truly is the good stuff of life! 

However, it will cost you as much as life of a showgirl. Make no mistake.
The alter is where you come to die, dedicate and find a new life of your dreams. Make this a daily practice.

Cheering you on forever, Josh + Katie
  • When you’re weird or desperate enough to come up with your grandparents names at 30 years old….and you get to use them way sooner than you dreamed!

Vision is key to an abundant marriage. Comment “name me” and we will DM you a short and sweet grandparent name guide.

We are leading a couple through a vision retreat this coming weekend and we would love to take you along with us. Hopefully it will give you some questions you can use for your own!
  • Growing in friendship with your spouse is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness.

When we stopped trying to fix everything…. and started rebuilding friendship. That changed everything.

1. Turn Toward Each Other in Small Moments

Respond to each other’s “bids for connection” yes even sending and responding to reels your spouse sends 😉small attempts to engage like sharing a story, asking a question, making a joke, or reaching for affection.

When you consistently turn toward instead of ignoring or dismissing, friendship deepens over time.

2. Stay curious about each other’s inner world: stresses, dreams, fears, goals, favorite things, current pressures.

People change over time. Friendship grows when you keep learning your spouse instead of assuming you already know them.
Ask:

* What’s been weighing on you lately?
* What are you excited about right now?
* How can I support you this week?

3. Prioritize Positive Shared Experiences

Research shows couples need regular positive interactions to buffer stress and conflict. Friendship is strengthened through enjoyment, novelty, laughter, and teamwork.
Examples:

* Walk after dinner
* Coffee on the porch
* Cooking together
* Trying something new
* Inside jokes and playful texting

Marriage often weakens not from one big event, but from neglected friendship. Romance may fluctuate, but friendship can be built daily.
There is usually one whose idea of “fun” is getting stuff done. 🫠 Play can seem silly, or even unproductive, but research tells a different story. Novel, playful experiences activate the brain’s reward system, create stronger emotional memories, and help couples feel more connected by breaking out of everyday routines. Literally getting a doctorate to justify being childlike. 😉 So let’s make this a no boring date nights (or days) summer! Drop your most creative idea in the comments so we can help those work as play people out!
3 days ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
Happy wedding T + T!!! I have been thinking about what I would write to you in a wedding card way to long 😂 so here it is from me to you: Dearest Taylor and Travis, Thank you. I believe your love story, like all great ones, is changing the world. I want you to know as someone who has been married 24 years, has a court in the back yard and a whole block of children looking like him. Your wish list is full of wisdom and truly is the good stuff of life! However, it will cost you as much as life of a showgirl. Make no mistake. The alter is where you come to die, dedicate and find a new life of your dreams. Make this a daily practice. Cheering you on forever, Josh + Katie
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
When you’re weird or desperate enough to come up with your grandparents names at 30 years old….and you get to use them way sooner than you dreamed! Vision is key to an abundant marriage. Comment “name me” and we will DM you a short and sweet grandparent name guide. We are leading a couple through a vision retreat this coming weekend and we would love to take you along with us. Hopefully it will give you some questions you can use for your own!
7 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
Growing in friendship with your spouse is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness. When we stopped trying to fix everything…. and started rebuilding friendship. That changed everything. 1. Turn Toward Each Other in Small Moments Respond to each other’s “bids for connection” yes even sending and responding to reels your spouse sends 😉small attempts to engage like sharing a story, asking a question, making a joke, or reaching for affection. When you consistently turn toward instead of ignoring or dismissing, friendship deepens over time. 2. Stay curious about each other’s inner world: stresses, dreams, fears, goals, favorite things, current pressures. People change over time. Friendship grows when you keep learning your spouse instead of assuming you already know them. Ask: * What’s been weighing on you lately? * What are you excited about right now? * How can I support you this week? 3. Prioritize Positive Shared Experiences Research shows couples need regular positive interactions to buffer stress and conflict. Friendship is strengthened through enjoyment, novelty, laughter, and teamwork. Examples: * Walk after dinner * Coffee on the porch * Cooking together * Trying something new * Inside jokes and playful texting Marriage often weakens not from one big event, but from neglected friendship. Romance may fluctuate, but friendship can be built daily.
2 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/4
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