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Screen Shot 2022-10-31 at 2.41.56 PM | Josh + Katie Walters

November 19, 2020 • General

Katie Walters is why this podcast started. Not the literal reason, but the embodiment of it – a woman you’d see across a party or in your social media feed and think, “That woman has it all together.” She’d want you to know there’s far more than meets the eye.

Katie is a stylish, joyful mother, due with her seventh any day now, and smitten wife to her pastor husband. She is CEO of a thriving missional fashion line, an encouraging social media presence, and somehow finds time to co-author a book about marriage with her husband, Josh.

That book in process, though? It documents the lessons gleaned from a marital crisis more than a decade ago. At the time, Katie had given her heart away and doubted she could ever view her husband as more than a roommate. Thirteen years later, their marriage is living proof that there’s always more than meets the eye.

Katie embraces her gifts as a mother and lets the women around her help fill in the gaps. She pursues social justice and racial equality through her partnership with Togolese community leaders, Francis and Benedict, after whom she named the business that provides them with resources.

She speaks candidly about counting the seasons we have with our children, and watching them become even better than their parents are in many ways. You’ll love Katie’s perspective on what to share on social media and how to find a balance between authenticity and “bleeding out.”

Learn more about Francis + Benedict at @francisandbenedict or francisandbenedict.com. You can connect with Katie at @katiewalters on Instagram.

This week’s conversation is sponsored by Christy Hollywood Photography. Find examples of Christy Hollywood-Lynn’s incredible work at @christyhollywoodphotography on Instagram or christyhollywoodphotography.com. Whether you need social media content, branding photography, or family and lifestyle portraits, her portfolio speaks for itself.

As always, you can find me at @butnotallatonce; I’d love to hear your thoughts! Take care, y’all, and I’ll speak to you next week. xoxo

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  • Growing in friendship with your spouse is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness.

When we stopped trying to fix everything…. and started rebuilding friendship. That changed everything.

1. Turn Toward Each Other in Small Moments

Respond to each other’s “bids for connection” yes even sending and responding to reels your spouse sends 😉small attempts to engage like sharing a story, asking a question, making a joke, or reaching for affection.

When you consistently turn toward instead of ignoring or dismissing, friendship deepens over time.

2. Stay curious about each other’s inner world: stresses, dreams, fears, goals, favorite things, current pressures.

People change over time. Friendship grows when you keep learning your spouse instead of assuming you already know them.
Ask:

* What’s been weighing on you lately?
* What are you excited about right now?
* How can I support you this week?

3. Prioritize Positive Shared Experiences

Research shows couples need regular positive interactions to buffer stress and conflict. Friendship is strengthened through enjoyment, novelty, laughter, and teamwork.
Examples:

* Walk after dinner
* Coffee on the porch
* Cooking together
* Trying something new
* Inside jokes and playful texting

Marriage often weakens not from one big event, but from neglected friendship. Romance may fluctuate, but friendship can be built daily.
  • When your spouse walks in, or walks out, pause what you’re doing. Look up. Move toward them. Kiss hello. Kiss goodbye.

It sounds small, but relationship research consistently shows that brief moments of connection build trust, security, and emotional closeness over time. Priority is often communicated in seconds, not speeches.

Stop. Drop. And roll (kiss). Small habit to keep the fire going! Do you and your spouse make an effort to do this?
  • Silly blooper video 😂 but it’s science. You might not need more time together—you might just need to put your phone down.

It’s amazing how much more connected we feel just by looking into each other’s eyes and getting the devices out of the way.

Send this to your spouse if you are ready to “tackle” the phone problem together. The weekend is a great time to start!
  • Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Growing in friendship with your spouse is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness. When we stopped trying to fix everything…. and started rebuilding friendship. That changed everything. 1. Turn Toward Each Other in Small Moments Respond to each other’s “bids for connection” yes even sending and responding to reels your spouse sends 😉small attempts to engage like sharing a story, asking a question, making a joke, or reaching for affection. When you consistently turn toward instead of ignoring or dismissing, friendship deepens over time. 2. Stay curious about each other’s inner world: stresses, dreams, fears, goals, favorite things, current pressures. People change over time. Friendship grows when you keep learning your spouse instead of assuming you already know them. Ask: * What’s been weighing on you lately? * What are you excited about right now? * How can I support you this week? 3. Prioritize Positive Shared Experiences Research shows couples need regular positive interactions to buffer stress and conflict. Friendship is strengthened through enjoyment, novelty, laughter, and teamwork. Examples: * Walk after dinner * Coffee on the porch * Cooking together * Trying something new * Inside jokes and playful texting Marriage often weakens not from one big event, but from neglected friendship. Romance may fluctuate, but friendship can be built daily.
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
When your spouse walks in, or walks out, pause what you’re doing. Look up. Move toward them. Kiss hello. Kiss goodbye. It sounds small, but relationship research consistently shows that brief moments of connection build trust, security, and emotional closeness over time. Priority is often communicated in seconds, not speeches. Stop. Drop. And roll (kiss). Small habit to keep the fire going! Do you and your spouse make an effort to do this?
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Silly blooper video 😂 but it’s science. You might not need more time together—you might just need to put your phone down. It’s amazing how much more connected we feel just by looking into each other’s eyes and getting the devices out of the way. Send this to your spouse if you are ready to “tackle” the phone problem together. The weekend is a great time to start!
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.

✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
Messy doesn’t mean failing. It means you’re in it. Stay. Do the work. ✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/4
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