November 10, 2019 • General
Josh Walters
Josh and his wife Katie have six children, AnnaJaye, Abigail, Abel, Asher, Ari, and Anthem (The A-Team). They’ve been married for 17 years and Josh has been a pastor at Seacoast Church for 10 years. This is the first half of our dadAWESOME conversation where we explore intentional connection before bedtime, creating celebration moments of becoming teenagers and reflections about the generosity of his dad.
Conversation Notes:
- 3:08 – Josh introduces his family
- 6:13 – Some family highlights for shiny eyed fun moments
- 8:15 – Josh explains the joy of being a “church family” and their kids loving their local church
- 9:15 – Parenting Hacks sermon from Josh https://youtu.be/ymx7y1jzOeE
- 10:22 – One of Josh’s biggest dad struggles = “Will you lay down with me?” being asked of him by his kids… Quality connection with each child.
- 12:15 – That connection question; “Will you lay down with me?” will stopped being asked at around 11 or 12 years old
- 14:20 – “Do your best to make yourself lay down and connect with your kids at bedtime even when you mind is saying that you need to do dishes and sweep the floor”
- 15:20 – Connecting with his daughters and giving them more freedom as they turned 13 years old
- 17:25 – Intentional celebration moment of stepping into a new season from a girl into being a young woman
- 21:15 – Stories about Josh’s dad
- 23:40 – “My greatest challenge is the giving of my time. Managing it all. The house, the family, life and prioritizing my time”
- 25:15 – Josh processes the journey of losing his father and processing the loss with his kids
- 28:15 – “It was very hard and very beautiful having a closer proximity to the final year of his dads life for the grandkids”
- 28:50 – Having a specific day to remember and celebrate Josh’ father
- 29:20 – Josh’ dad was a father and grandfather to a lot more kids and grandkids than just his own family
- 30:40 – “Death became very close, so the idea of Heaven and eternal life and even just the pain of grief… I think they (my kids) got to experience loss in a way and see parents grieving and pain and stuff that I think the enemy would want to use as a weapon against us later in life… and that’s a natural normal part of life that they got to walk through with us and that was just such a special season.”
Episode Links:
DA Idea:
- Create a unique version of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
- Recently my 5 yr-old daughter and I made up a version including our baby, our Golden doodle dog and a kitty cat. We call it Boomer, Kitty, Raya and it was a simple fun creation that involved my daughter helping me create the characters and the order of victory.
- Boomer is bigger and stronger then Kitty.
- Kitty scares Raya with it’s claws.
- Raya wins Boomers heart.
- So Boomers beats Kitty, Kitty beats Raya and Raya beats Boomer.
- Our hand gestures are; all 5 fingers up like a high-5 for Boomer (he has long curly hair that sticks up)
- Pointer finger and middle finger up like a peace sign for Kitty (like a cats pointy ears)
- Just the thumb up for Raya (like a baby sucking it’s thumb).
- Boomer, Kitty, Raya, shoot…
Connect
Growing in friendship with your spouse is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital happiness.
When we stopped trying to fix everything…. and started rebuilding friendship. That changed everything.
1. Turn Toward Each Other in Small Moments
Respond to each other’s “bids for connection” yes even sending and responding to reels your spouse sends 😉small attempts to engage like sharing a story, asking a question, making a joke, or reaching for affection.
When you consistently turn toward instead of ignoring or dismissing, friendship deepens over time.
2. Stay curious about each other’s inner world: stresses, dreams, fears, goals, favorite things, current pressures.
People change over time. Friendship grows when you keep learning your spouse instead of assuming you already know them.
Ask:
* What’s been weighing on you lately?
* What are you excited about right now?
* How can I support you this week?
3. Prioritize Positive Shared Experiences
Research shows couples need regular positive interactions to buffer stress and conflict. Friendship is strengthened through enjoyment, novelty, laughter, and teamwork.
Examples:
* Walk after dinner
* Coffee on the porch
* Cooking together
* Trying something new
* Inside jokes and playful texting
Marriage often weakens not from one big event, but from neglected friendship. Romance may fluctuate, but friendship can be built daily.
5 days ago
When your spouse walks in, or walks out, pause what you’re doing. Look up. Move toward them. Kiss hello. Kiss goodbye.
It sounds small, but relationship research consistently shows that brief moments of connection build trust, security, and emotional closeness over time. Priority is often communicated in seconds, not speeches.
Stop. Drop. And roll (kiss). Small habit to keep the fire going! Do you and your spouse make an effort to do this?
7 days ago
Silly blooper video 😂 but it’s science. You might not need more time together—you might just need to put your phone down.
It’s amazing how much more connected we feel just by looking into each other’s eyes and getting the devices out of the way.
Send this to your spouse if you are ready to “tackle” the phone problem together. The weekend is a great time to start!
1 week ago
Messy doesn’t mean failing.
It means you’re in it.
Stay. Do the work.
✨ our life message: Messy Marriages marked by Mercy = Immeasurably More!
2 weeks ago
